Diary of A Sane Man

And “Fuck” can be scary when it wants to be.

I was at the local Goodwill the other day because my girlfriend feared that a missing library book was donated by accident. She didn’t find it in there, but she did find a friggin’ treasure trove of books. She found her supernatural/bondage erotica and even a Wraith the Oblivion anthology and I found an AD&D book and a White Wolf book about Hell and souls trying to escape or arrive there. That sort of stuff. Some gamer geek definitely dropped stuff off the day before and this was his or her stuff. This person even dropped off REALLY old school TSR games still in their boxes (and a mint condition Risk). I didn’t nab any of the latter but I was tempted to. The video game section was abnormally stocked with games (usually they have shit Super NES game or Genesis games no one wants to play. Ever.).

A few months ago I played the demo version of a game called Condemned: Criminal Origins. Despite being a new game it ran pretty well on my computer and I chalked it up to being a game I wouldn’t mind owning one day. Sure as shit there it was in the Goodwill for $15. Val bought it for me for my birthday (from 2006, hehe); I guess she felt bad about forgetting to get me something… I dunno. Regardless, she bought me the game.

It takes a lot to scare me when it comes to video games. Silent Hill and Fatal Frame are the only games I can recall that really bugged me out, and Fatal Frame was the only one to get me to jump. There’s been other games that have mind-fucked me or freaked me out, but being scared? It’s rare. And dammit, I look for it since movies have been lackluster and boring lately. I *want* to be scared. It’s fun. So imagine my surprise when I discovered that Condemned: CO scared the living shit out of me. I’ll try not to blow anything for you, but I’ll warn you:

Spoiler Warning. Spoiler Warning.

Alright, now that that’s done with, let’s get to the game. Condemned markets itself as a criminal mystery type game. You’re a Federal Agent on the tail of a fucked up serial killer when you’re suddenly framed for the murder of two police officers. You go on the run while still trying to solve this case and hopefully clear your name. That’s the jist of the game.

Or so it seems.

It turns out that there’s two events going on behind the story: one is that something is decimating the bird population, some sort of virus or something, and the other is that violence is on the rise in the city. Vagrants, addicts and hoodlums are practically rioting in the shitty areas of the city and no one knows why. They don’t even know if the bird deaths and crime rates are connected. On top of this you have your story. Then it gets… weird. I have an innate fear (and love) of zombies. I dream about zombies often and they scare the shit out of me. I love it. And there’s zombies in this game (I won’t go into the story too much as I don’t want to ruin the plot). They’re horrible… pale, milky-eyes, moaning nasty things with violent tendencies. So this game is both a criminal mystery game and a horror game. On top of these “things”, these zombies, you have odd visions of spectral entities and other horrible beings. What I love about this game is that they don’t over do it with the enemies. You’re alone in a creepy place more than you fight.

Speaking of fighting, the AI is awesome. The enemies are insane so they’re not overly cautious or anything, but they still use tactics. I’ve seen them withdraw to fight later on, grab weapons or re-arm themselves after I disarmed them, flank me, even fight one another… the list goes on. But the enemy isn’t retarded. The fighting is a lot of fun as well. You have to parry incoming attacks, take swings yourself, kick and apply finishing moves at times. Many things laying around can be used as weapons (by you and the baddies), ranging from pipes and 2×4 boards to shotguns and pistols. The guns always have little ammo, but they can be very useful at times. It bugged me out the first time one of the psychotic addicts ran for the same gun I was running for, beat me to it and shot me point blank in the face. Yes, I had to Quick-Load. One weapon you always have on you is a taser and that friggin’ thing saves your ass a lot. That same guy that ran for the gun did it again the second time around, but this time I tasered him, took the shotgun off his hands while he was stunned, and returned the favor of the face-shot. Yes, combat is fun in this game.

I suggest turning off the cross hairs, by the way. It makes shooting a little harder and more realistic and less HUD adds to the atmosphere, where the cross hairs tend to distract from them and remind you you’re playing a video game.

The game itself is awesome looking. The boards are very linear, but for some reason you just can’t care: the game is too busy creeping you out. The settings for each board are perfect for creep factor (mostly abandoned buildings where crimes went down) and the graphics really pull the details out. The textures are nicely done (down to the friggin’ paintbrush strokes in paintings on the wall). The sounds enhance the graphics, working with them to create an atmosphere that scares the shit out of you. This game was meant to be played in the dark. Anything less and you lose the vibe. Screams echo through buildings, rats scuttle and the bad-guys fuck with your head before attacking. Most of the light you have to work with comes from your flashlight which adds to the mood and creep-factor.

I should also note that your character has “visions” like a psychic. They use this to add creep factor to the game. You see some scary shit (the mannequins in the abandoned department store scared the hell out of me).

My beef with the game (there’s always beef with something)?

(1)The “CSI” Tools: Throughout the game you’re trying to solve a serial killer case, so you’re often collecting evidence with various CSI tools. I absolutely love this part of the game. But here’s the problem with it: they tell you when to use it. It would have been better if you could use your tools whenever you wanted to and they didn’t tell you when clues might be nearby.

(2)Linear Boards: Sometimes you notice that the boards are linear, but usually you don’t care. Once in a while, though, you can’t help but notice and wish the game wasn’t like this.

(3)Physics Engine: Once in a while the physics engine is retarded. I’ve seen a body just slowly slide across a flat floor for no reason. It just kept going. It was weird.

Overall this game rocked my house. No, really. IGN rated it at “Great” and I agree. All games have their faults and this game is no exception, but you hardly notice them. This game is all atmosphere and plot. It’s one of the better games I’ve played in a while and I can’t stress enough how much I’m enjoying Condemned. Best $15 Val and I have ever spent. It’s fuckin’ creepy man. Really, really creepy.

*shudder*

-=Grim=-

This entry was posted on Friday, May 4th, 2007 at 4:25 pm and is filed under Video Games. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.